This Week’s Bridge Problem, No. 235.

It’s been a while since I blogged about Bridge, primarily because I haven’t played much recently. However, last week I had the good fortune to attend the Llanishen Invitational Mixed Pairs Competition where the  following unusual deal appeared:

Dealer (West) opened flirtatiously with a reverse Polish cue bid of 1♥ indicating four good suits but no decent shoes to go with them. North passed. Unsure of how many high card points should be assigned to Mrs Bun the Baker’s Wife, East responded with One No Trump whilst coughing and banging his fist on the table to indicate a weak heart.  Despite having eaten a large amount of curry, West decided that No Trumps was feasible, and bid directly to a grand slam, gambling that nobody would notice he’d clearly been cheating by fiddling with the deck while they weren’t  looking.

Against North’s lead of 8♣, East passes a spade (with some difficulty),  swings his partner to the right and emerges to confront South eight miles to the East, from where his artillery can operate out of range of North’s radar.  What should South do next to best defend the contract? (Hint: Winds Southerly, Force 8).

Solution to Bridge Problem No. 234: Across the Bosphorus, joining Europe to Asia Minor, with a single span of 4389 feet.

P.S. Readers of a certain age (like Mr Money; see comments below) will recognize that the picture and some of the skit is taken from an item in the following book published in 1981, which I still have…

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8 Responses to “This Week’s Bridge Problem, No. 235.”

  1. Monica Grady Says:

    In a situation like this, where a contract is involved, South should repair to the conservatory where Colonel Mustard will be waiting with the lead piping.
    M
    x

  2. Bryn Jones Says:

    Umm. Let’s see. South is Kamchatka. So eight miles to the East of Kamchatka is in the Bering Sea.

    Are you suggesting building a bridge to the Aleutian Islands?

  3. I seem to remember reading something similar in the ‘Not the Nine O’clock News’ Christmas Annual 1981.

    • telescoper Says:

      Well spotted! That’s where I got the picture from, but I changed the text a bit…

      I figured after 30 years it was out of copyright, but have now at least added an acknowledgement.

    • Anton Garrett Says:

      Is this the one of their books with the parody of the constellations in?

  4. Anton Garrett Says:

    I’ve just remembered that this front cover is a parody of James Goldsmith’s short-lived NOW! magazine.

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