Cardiff University Christmas Lunch Special

The publication of Cardiff University’s new Alcohol and Drugs Policy recently circulated to staff as reported in last week’s Times Higher will require some changes to be made to forthcoming Christmas parties. In particular, we note that the new policy does not allow staff to

consume alcohol or illegal drugs while at work, except at approved functions where such consumption has been formally authorised by the Head of School / Directorate or nominee

so we regret that alcohol will no longer be served at staff Christmas lunches. However, thanks to special authorisation,  we can announce various enhancements to the menu, which will now be as follows:

Christmas Menu

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Starters

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Foie Grass

Garlic Magic Mushrooms

Quaalude Eggs

Thai Sticks

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Main Courses

—•—

Coke au Vin

Pot au Foil

A Selection of Joints

(served with Greens, Beans and Herbs)

followed by

Cold Turkey

—•—

Desserts

—•—

Hash Brownies

Crystalmeth Pudding

—•—

Extras

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Christmas Crackers (containing real Crack)

Dollies, Jellies, Candy and Ices

(with Munchies to follow)

Party Poppers

—•—

I hope the above menu proves satisfactory but if not please send your suggestions for additions through the comments box.