How to segregate your lecture

Following the announcement that UniversitiesUK has decided that it is acceptable for audiences at events held at UK universities to be segregated by gender, I thought I’d would explain how such segregation should be achieved for speakers who require it.

To start with the lecture theatre chosen for the event should be equipped with suitable man-sized box trunk or cabinet into which the guest speaker is to be placed. An illustrative example of the type of container required is shown here:


Care must of course be taken to ensure that the box is of sufficiently large dimensions that it is capable of containing the speaker without causing undue discomfort.

Before the audience is admitted to the event, the speaker should be placed inside the box whereupon it should be locked.

The audience can then enter the lecture theatre, sit down wherever they like and make themselves comfortable, being confident that the appropriate level of segregation has been enforced.

An additional advantage of this scheme is that a suitably chosen box will make it impossible for the audience to hear the stream of misogynistic drivel produced by the invited guest, thus ensuring that the event runs smoothly and without disruption.

I hope this clarifies the situation.

6 Responses to “How to segregate your lecture”

  1. I am very concerned that you require a ‘man-sized’ box. Do you only anticipate having male guest speakers?

    • telescoper Says:

      I chose that word deliberately, as it seemed to me that the sort of speaker likely to demand audience segregation would have to be a male person.

  2. I don’t know about other countries – but in the UK you’re allowed to walk down the street nude, and you’re allowed to wear a burka. I think trampling on either of these freedoms without good reason would be terrible, and I hope the EU rules that there’s no good reason for France to make that ban. There doesn’t seem to be one.

    • Phillip, I’m not at all clear on what you’re arguing. Are you genuinely saying that you think someone wearing a burka is as genuinely distressing as someone being nude? There’s an element of common sense involved in rulings by judges, particularly on these matters, and I very much doubt that sort of reasoning would fly. Do you?

    • Alright, that is clearer. I do think the UK is too harsh on public nudity, where completely separate laws are now being used to enforce a societal standard. Fine; I’ll take progress where I can get it, but I can also see sensible reasons you’d want to prevent genuine distress caused by someone wandering around without clothes. I don’t think I need to spell out examples. And that is the principle for that rule – not majority preferences about nudity but about actual harm.

      On the other hand, I can see very little (if any) cause for banning a burka – perhaps with the exception of things like court appearances, where identification or vision of a person’s face is critical (which if I recall is where the UK law has ended up).

      And what I meant by common sense is just that: no judge in the UK is going to accept the public is distressed more so by a burka than by nudity (your personal feelings not withstanding). And given nudity is rarely enough to actually qualify for disorderly conduct or disturbing the peace (whatever the police may say) no judge is going to rule wearing a burka does anything close.

  3. telescoper Says:

    In fact UniversitiesUK has now dropped its advice, after pressure from sensible people and the Government.

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