The Workman’s Friend

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night –
A pint of plain* is your only man.

When money’s tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt –
A pint of plain is your only man.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A pint of plain is your only man.

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare –
A pint of plain is your only man.

In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life –
A pint of plain is your only man.

 

by Flann O’Brien (aka Brian O’Nolan; 1911-1966)

 

*plain here means `stout’ (e..g Guinness).

 

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