Archive for Headhats

The ties that bind..

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on December 17, 2019 by telescoper

The other day I saw a post on Facebook from an American friend which referred to the wearing of a `necktie’. I’ve always been confused by this word, largely because I’m not aware of many other examples of words combining an item of clothing with where it is worn on the body. As far as I am aware neither `headhat’ nor `footsock’ nor `legtrousers’ is a word. Presumably the prefix `neck-‘ is added to `tie’ in order to specify where the tie is to be worn, either because the wearer might not otherwise know or because there are different kinds of tie to be worn elsewhere on the body as is the case, for example, with `cockring’.

But where else would one wear a tie other than around one’s neck?

Thinking about this problem led me to the related issue of why (hopefully) soon-to-be-former President of the United States of America, Donald Trump wears such long (neck)ties:

I believe I have an answer to both puzzles. Trump wears an extra-long tie because it’s actually a bellytie, meant to be worn around the waist to keep the legtrousers from falling down. It needs to be extra long because Donald Trump is excessively corpulent. Obviously he only puts his bellytie around his neck when in public, and has some other arrangement to keep his legtrousers up in that situation. I suspect he might wear suspenders.

You may find this all a bit trivial but I post it here for the benefit of British readers whose country will soon be forced to grovel at Trump’s feet for the luxury of being allowed to import chlorinated chicken from America and to be charged higher prices for prescription medicine. You will need to learn the proper vocabulary pronto if you want to fit in with the new order of things.